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Vanessa and Xander Marin
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Добавлен 26 июн 2015
Hi! We’re Vanessa and Xander! We specialize in helping people stop feel so embarrassed about sex, and start having way more fun in the bedroom. We’ve been affectionately nicknamed “that sex couple” by our followers for our frank discussions of the modern challenges faced by modern couples.
Vanessa is a licensed psychotherapist. She studied human sexuality at Brown University, has written for The New York Times, Allure, and Lifehacker, and has been featured thousands of times by publications like O, The Oprah Magazine, Real Simple, Refinery29, New York Magazine, Rolling Stone, Buzzfeed, and many more. And Xander is a regular dude who left a cushy career in Tech once he realized it was more fun to talk about sex with his wife all day.
Together, we have the unique ability to make you laugh while giving you the courage to talk about sex and relationships in ways you never have before!
Get our weekly emails (and a free gift!) by signing up at: vmtherapy.com/subscribe/
Vanessa is a licensed psychotherapist. She studied human sexuality at Brown University, has written for The New York Times, Allure, and Lifehacker, and has been featured thousands of times by publications like O, The Oprah Magazine, Real Simple, Refinery29, New York Magazine, Rolling Stone, Buzzfeed, and many more. And Xander is a regular dude who left a cushy career in Tech once he realized it was more fun to talk about sex with his wife all day.
Together, we have the unique ability to make you laugh while giving you the courage to talk about sex and relationships in ways you never have before!
Get our weekly emails (and a free gift!) by signing up at: vmtherapy.com/subscribe/
EPISODE 172: Bring Sex Toys Into Your Bedroom (Without Making It Weird)
Have you wanted to bring a sex toy into the bedroom but been worried about your partner’s response?
It can be a scary ask! Maybe you’re worried about hurting your partner’s feelings, maybe you don’t even own one yet.
Well, we think sex toys can be an incredibly useful way to balance the orgasm gap and increase pleasure! So in this episode, we’re going to help you introduce sex toys into the bedroom (but without making it weird)!
Links & Resources:
Recommended Products (vmtherapy.com/recommended-products)
Guide: Ultimate Foreplay Guides (shop.vmtherapy.com/ultimate-foreplay-guides/?ref=podcast-172&)
Guide: Next Level Intercourse (shop.vmtherapy.com/next-level-intercourse/?ref=podcast-172&)
If y...
It can be a scary ask! Maybe you’re worried about hurting your partner’s feelings, maybe you don’t even own one yet.
Well, we think sex toys can be an incredibly useful way to balance the orgasm gap and increase pleasure! So in this episode, we’re going to help you introduce sex toys into the bedroom (but without making it weird)!
Links & Resources:
Recommended Products (vmtherapy.com/recommended-products)
Guide: Ultimate Foreplay Guides (shop.vmtherapy.com/ultimate-foreplay-guides/?ref=podcast-172&)
Guide: Next Level Intercourse (shop.vmtherapy.com/next-level-intercourse/?ref=podcast-172&)
If y...
Просмотров: 671
Видео
What she really means when she says…
Просмотров 9189 часов назад
👋 New to our content? Follow along for tips to keep the spark alive in your long-term relationship. Ladies, do you agree? Let us know in the comments. 👇🏼
Am I allowed to have connection to my Ex?
Просмотров 85816 часов назад
The classic question: Am I allowed to keep talking to my ex when I’m in a new relationship? 🤔 Let’s hear your thoughts! 👇🏼 Head to our link vmtherapy.com/episode169 to listen to Episode 169: Is This Your Shit Or Mine? Part 2 🎙️💬✨
Is there someone better out there for me?
Просмотров 91621 час назад
Is there someone better out there for me?
What do women really think about______? Part 2
Просмотров 3,1 тыс.21 час назад
What do women really think about ? Part 2
EPISODE 170: What Do Women Really Think About ___? Part 2
Просмотров 704День назад
EPISODE 170: What Do Women Really Think About ? Part 2
EPISODE 171: Your Funniest Stories About Getting “The Talk”
Просмотров 372День назад
EPISODE 171: Your Funniest Stories About Getting “The Talk”
EPISODE 169: Is This Your Shit Or Mine? Part 2
Просмотров 76221 день назад
EPISODE 169: Is This Your Shit Or Mine? Part 2
Talking through your dogs after an argument
Просмотров 87128 дней назад
Talking through your dogs after an argument
The Mental Hack To Improving Your Sex Life
Просмотров 4,5 тыс.28 дней назад
The Mental Hack To Improving Your Sex Life
EPISODE 168: Long Distance? How To Keep The Spark Alive
Просмотров 654Месяц назад
EPISODE 168: Long Distance? How To Keep The Spark Alive
Just weird sex sounds...No laughing...
Просмотров 4,7 тыс.Месяц назад
Just weird sex sounds...No laughing...
EPISODE 167: Should We Open Our Relationship?
Просмотров 1 тыс.Месяц назад
EPISODE 167: Should We Open Our Relationship?
EPISODE 165: How To Actually Be Vulnerable With Your Partner
Просмотров 751Месяц назад
EPISODE 165: How To Actually Be Vulnerable With Your Partner
EPISODE 164: Why You Need To Flirt In Your Relationship And How To Do It
Просмотров 1,2 тыс.Месяц назад
EPISODE 164: Why You Need To Flirt In Your Relationship And How To Do It
EPISODE 163: Should We Have A Threesome?
Просмотров 1,7 тыс.2 месяца назад
EPISODE 163: Should We Have A Threesome?
Why do men get so mad when we reject sex?
Просмотров 4,7 тыс.2 месяца назад
Why do men get so mad when we reject sex?
Episode 162: "Is This Normal?" Part 3 - More Questions You Never Dared To Ask Out Loud
Просмотров 1,1 тыс.2 месяца назад
Episode 162: "Is This Normal?" Part 3 - More Questions You Never Dared To Ask Out Loud
We're in Couples Therapy - Ask Us Anything!
Просмотров 1,4 тыс.2 месяца назад
We're in Couples Therapy - Ask Us Anything!
These 4 Communication Mistakes Cause Breakups
Просмотров 1,4 тыс.2 месяца назад
These 4 Communication Mistakes Cause Breakups
EPISODE 161: We’re In Couples Therapy - Ask Us Anything!
Просмотров 8552 месяца назад
EPISODE 161: We’re In Couples Therapy - Ask Us Anything!
How do I help my wife get past body image issues that are killing our sex life?
Просмотров 2,1 тыс.2 месяца назад
How do I help my wife get past body image issues that are killing our sex life?
Getting the kids involved adds to the mental load, because they need to be managed and trained, and then you need to do that until they can do it on their own, but the continual guidance is worth it. Just like you cant expect your kids to get a chore done to yoir standards the first time, you cant expect your partner to get it right the first time. Its a continual "Hey you did great here, but can you also make sure you do this too, because xyz." Hopefully your partner is mature enough to be like "Ok, that makes sense." Or "I did it this way because xyz, but I can try that way too." Instead of "Nothing I do is ever good enough."
I've never enjoyed sex mabye am not normal....
Unreal...promoting a depraved activity that has been known to spread disease for thousands of years. Disgusting.
Ok I'll talk dirty I JUST SOILED MY UNDERWEAR😂
Okay first of I don’t think you read the hall thing and understood what she wrote. She said “he wants my attention and love everyday” now we all know statistics prove that man want and need sex more than women 70% of the males if you made a vow with your partner and you sign up to be with this one man for the rest of your life, how do you even say you don’t feel lovey dovey no more when he could be out there cheating on you or even worse not feeling sexually attracted to you anymore you should be feeling lucky and doesn’t matter you want it or not relationships especially marriage is all bout sacrificing and doing things both man or woman even if you don’t feel like doing, (nobody likes to change diapers everyday making meal but you have to because that’s what family and household needs etc;… now let me ask you, if he told you okay you don’t wanna do what makes me happy you want to break my ego and push me away or makeup your own time and rules when it comes to my needs and me wanting my woman and whenever I want you u push me away fine, I’ll go and get it from somewhere else would you be fine with that because i can be getting all the love everyday all day from some other women that would please me so when I do that and come home don’t cry and don’t throw tantrums and blame it on me let me see how quick she’s gonna hoopla hoop and do hall gymnastics so ladies wake the f up and understand you’re not in high school you are partner of the household leader and if your f-ing man wants you be THANKFUL he still wants and feels LOVEY DOVEY towards you that should be a fucking compliment and blessing for your dumbass. This kind of things gets me and can’t understand why woman feel so entitled to push ur man when we know god damn well man are very sexually active why first place get married if u all bout yourself and not ready to be willing to keep your household happy? Which means you NEED to sacrifice your dumbass and do things even if you don’t want to! Because sweetheart you are so lucky u are not falling into category of women who getting cheated whose husband come home don’t even greed their woman don’t even kiss nothing straight to bed because he already got it from outside from his mistress and u are not sitting hall night in bed while he’s sleeping peacefully zero fucks given bout you and you are craving for your man to make love with you so how dare you? Even asking this question and saying fuck his feelings I don’t feel like doing it so here’s this 2 goddamn days and appreciate it if I was your man first I would tell u I’m going and I’ll get it from someone else and when I get back don’t even say a fucking word with your unlovey dovey a$$ and shut your ass up. And when u ask for divorce just know you ain’t getting shit from me! Okay sweety? So think it’s not only you or only him it’s two of you! So make it work and be a back bone for your man before it’s too late and someone takes your spot and does better work and you end up crying asking “God” whyyyyyy…??? 😢😢😢 ok ? Thank youuuu ladies let’s do better cause I’m sure we all know better! Grow the f up bye! (Rolling my fucking eyes literally)
It is one of those things that are very hard to desribe how it feels... Its easier to descrive how most women get there- In my experience, & most women I have talked to, I have to have back & forth clitoral stimulation/friction, & its one of those things where you just keep doing it, & all of a sudden you know when you have "hit the spot" and you keep going & then you orgasm. I feel like the contraction/muscle spasm type feeling in my vagina & pelvic region & I usually cant help but to let out a moan... I usually get the "pulsating feeling'' right before Im about to orgasm...
Y Y Y
I'm not really ok with it, I would rather him not doing it, but I don't really care enough either as long as it is not too frequent
I do the very same thing!
B! But teaching body parts names at 3
That requires a lot of preparatory workouts 😂
Love this! You guys always do a great job.
Wtf
69
Ok, to be serious, one position that I thought of and tried (to great success) was when in the missionary position (me the male on top), I would stop, and then while still in full penetration, bring both my legs from between hers to straddle hers (knees to ankles flat on the bed with my knees up near her armpits), as if I was in cowboy(?) position, and then let her "grind" to her hearts content. They really seemed to like that as it gave them the grind they liked, while allowing them to lie down and somewhat relax at the same time, but to also have me looking down on them as a turn on to them. Dunno if anyone else has tried this but thought I'd share...
There is an old Monty Python song about sitting on faces! ruclips.net/video/Dax_tnZRExc/видео.html
#4 is not working. If you ask like that, you will always hear a not enthusiastic 'no' as an answer.
“What do you want” is kind of an intimidating question, but sometimes either one of us might be in the mood for something particular. So we talk about it (in a flirty way) at the beginning of our “session” and go from there. Usually what tends to happen is more on the lines of either one of us saying “I like this. Keep going.” I think we both have learned to just speak up if either one of us wants to change positions or change something up or something.
I believe that during vacay sex, people don’t even have foreplay, I bet they just jump right into action. 😂
This video is really helpful 💜, I wish I had seen it a bit earlier. I've had my debut recently, I was expecting too much (orgasm and all the joy and pleasantness), and also I was scared that it was going to be painful. It wasn't that painful, but there was a considerable amount of blood. I was a bit nervous, but the partner made sure I felt safe and he was very attentive (it's very important). When I didn't orgasm from the penetration it was a bit disappointing. But overall, the experience was better than I had expected. I definitely need more practice now 😄 To all those out there on the verge of making a debut, make sure to relax and don't rush, and do it with someone whom you can trust 🤗
Adult Toys
The 26% not again fits with the dropout from 12 to 2 % who have done so in past relationship to current relationship.
Fantastic tips
C
I see a sex Therapist Quite often I Married her I did. she is a real sex therapist she was stunned when I asked her to Marry Me .
Yikes lost me at making your sexual debut
Hello everyone my wife is 17 weeks pregnant and she has been suffering this almost her whole pregnancy, she doesn’t have anybody around besides our dog and cat, our son arrives home after 5pm from school and I get home around 8pm from work. This is crumbling our marriage because I seem to not get it, I understand it completely but I still try to be affectionate to her, even not on purpose is just who I am as a husband (very affectionate) and I get is from pregnancy but is still very hard, I’m getting insane and not wanting to make it about me. I understand the effort she is making building a life inside her but this is causing everyday fights between us she has a very hard tempered and I don’t know what else to do, I can’t tell her how I feel because she takes it wrong I try my best to not touch her but sometimes I just can’t and it slips I don’t know what else to do what more time alone give to us if we don’t see each other most of the time. This situation is making me very depressed and she feels she doesn’t have any peace at all… I’m really desperate.
😂😂😂 these toks are funny
SALUTATIONS VANESSA AND XANDER MARIN… I HAVE EXPERIENCED DIFFERENT KINDS OF ORGASM, BUT THE MOST BEAUTIFUL INTENSE ONES WERE WHEN I DID, MY BODY JUST SHIVERED LIKE I WAS COLD AND IT LASTED FOR TWO TO THREE MINUTES, ANOTHER TIME WAS WHEN MY HUSBAND HIT THAT G-SPOT… AND I SQUINTED SO MUCH, AND HE HIT IT AGAIN AND HE ASKED ME COULD HE CUM NOW, AND WHEN HE DID I DID… NEEDLESS TO SAY I FELT IT DOWN IN MY SOUL AND I JUST CRIED LIKE A BABY. HE THOUGHT HE HAD DID SOMETHING WRONG OR THAT HE HAD HURTED ME IN SOME WAYS. IT WAS SO INTENSE THAT I COULDN’T TELL HIM WHAT I FELT AT THE TIME. THE OTHER TIME WAS WHEN I HAD MY ORGAMS, I CAME SOOOO HARD THAT I HAD A BOWEL MOVEMENT AND PASSED OUT. I WAS DEFINITELY EMBARRASSED ABOUT IT, BUT AFTER WITH MY BROTHER WHO WAS A DOCTOR AT THE TIME, HE BASICALLY TOLD ME THAT I HAD A OUTER BODY EXPERIENCE CAUSE THAT’S THE LAST THING A PERSON DOES WHEN THEY PASS AWAY. THAT WAS THE FIRST AND LAST TIME THAT HAPPENED TO ME. WE HAD BEEN MARRIED FOR A MONTH AND A HALF… TWO MONTHS LATER HE DIED FROM A MOTORCYCLE ACCIDENT RESULTING WITH HIM HAVING BRAINS AND FACE LACERATIONS. THAT WAS FORTY YEARS AGO, I WAS TWENTY EIGHT AT THE TIME, NOW I’M SIXTY EIGHT I’M STILL WIDOWED, I’M FULL OF JOY, PEACE, HAPPINESS, AND I’M LOVING WHO I AM, AND WHERE I’M AT IN THIS LIFE. AND CAUSE LIFE KEEPS ON LIFING. AND I’M LOOKING FOR THAT DAY WHEN I CAN EXPERIENCE THE ECSTASY THAT COMES WITH HAVING AN ORGAMS WITH THAT SPECIAL SOMEONE. SENDING THE BLESSINGS OF GOD TO EVERYONE.💕💕
It so beautiful that way ❤
Great examples and important topic!
Y’all are so cute 😂
Anal sex is very,very nice...best part is that one can come inside without being worried about pregnancy...and anus is so tight...
I’m fine with it
My husband of 42 yrs is named Pigpen..need I say more? We met at a rescue sanctuary and I mentioned muddling up the conversation and we both loved it Our favorite song? When mud gets in your eyes...ahhhh pretty dirty overall.
😂 so true for women lol
Thank you so much. God Bless.
Sounds like fun
😂😂😂you are great ....🎉
Phone is terrible thing in bed....ruin everything....love,sex and friendship
Haha! The human pretzel knot! 🤣
please help me i feel bad because he can’t make me finish
email us at info@vmtherapy.com - Team V&X
🐩🐕
Yesterday I was with my period and I had intimacy with this guy, we couldn’t stop! I was so hot, we finished one time, and after a few minutes we want to do it again, we did the second time, and we still want to do it one more time, it was the period? Or something else? 🤔
691/2
Wet kisses are pretty gross too.
Also personally I'd say from my experience having a partner who genuinely cannot kiss well is a major turn off
I think in regards to tongues it really depends on what turns you on and excites you about a kiss. I say tongues are good because if you are good with a tongue you can intrigue a mind and body by what you do to it when kissing. E.g i kissed a girl i like and she was a daring one and gently but quickly nipped my tongue lol 😅 and really turned me on cos i thought damn you're a sexy firey little devil arent you and it just sparked interest in my mind and i kissed her more. Also when i kiss i love tongues i suck my guys tongue gently and he does it to me. Not everyone likes it but it depends what you are into.
unnecessary cleavage (imagine your therapist trying to get a session with you like that... unprofessional), and your "husband" has a more feminine vibe than you.... not sure if I would take advise from these guys... Also, if something on your bedroom (or wherever you are during sex) distracts you and you have to remove it, you definitely have some serious problems to focus on anything (ADHD comes to mind)... in which case you really should go to a professional... Btw lady... he's definitely gay ^^ Bye~~~ XOXO
This was a great video! Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing y’all’s choice ❤